While I was busy gulping down beef fried rice and suja in one of the restaurants in Thimphu, my friend,
Tenzin, had his eyes glued to a waitress. The Waitress was also flashing a look
every now and then from her shy eyes. This encouraged Tenzin to throw his
smiles at her while she daintily served other customers. I knew what was going
on in Tenzin’s head but I was more interested in the beef fried
rice. It costed my friend another two
meals before she gave her mobile number. She was smart as she did not tell him
her real name but not smart enough as she has given him her mobile number.
She was a fine woman, in her early twenties that any guy would like to be with.
I left them alone after that as, I knew my friend was just playing a game and,
I was well aware of his intentions. He also had a wife studying in a college in
India. So, the waitress was just a temporary catch. I didn’t even care to know
her name.
These
stuffs did not bother me as I was aware of it happening all around me. I knew
it is a phase in a man’s life before he settles down and also a phase in a
woman’s life when she is trying to settle down. It’s a topsy turvy world where everyone is trying to
gain something out of everything and lands up getting nothing. No one really
gains from it. All these made no or very little sense to me, so I never
embarked on this road. I just ignored it.
But
for how long can I ignore it?
After I was placed in Trashiyangtse as a kidu officer, a realization hit
me like a bolt of lightning. My job demands me to visit rural villages and
identify poor families and household in need of kidu intervention. On
one of my many visits to the villages, I was ushered to the poorest household
of the remotest village in Trashiyangtse.In a single-storied hut, a family of
four lived under a leaky roof. The door did not even have a latch since there
wasn't any valuables worth stealing in the house.
A
71 year old grandmother along with three children was its inhabitants. The
children didn’t know the whereabouts of their fathers (all the children were
from different fathers) and they lost their mother to alcohol. The grandma,
though old and weak, tilled their acre and half Chuzhing to feed the
hungry children. The children were all studying, the eldest in class VII and
the youngest in Class II. The middle one was a shy girl studying in class IV.
Her shyness was too familiar to not notice. They had an elder sister who
dropped out of Class VIII and went to Thimphu to look for a job in order to
support the family.
My
brain instantly flashed back the image of the waitress in Thimphu. The shy eyes
of the little girl in front of me confirmed it. But, now she has mothered a
fatherless child. I was sad. A girl from a poor household from a remote village
goes to Thimphu to earn for her family, but lands up not able to support
herself. She tries to uplift her family out of poverty but land herself in
poverty, pulling her deeply into its vicious cycle. Somehow, I felt I am also a
reason for her misery. I could have dissuaded my friend. I could have been a
better friend, a responsible citizen, a savior to that girl but I just ignored
it. Now I know the realities and hardships of the poor. I have seen a daughter
pull out of school and become the backbone of a family.
PLEASE
DO NOT BREAK THAT BACKBONE!!!
[This is a story of many young village girls who come to
urban areas searching for better economic opportunities. Most of them are from
poor families and the whole family back home depends on them. But we know the
harsh realities they face; the difficulties of getting a job, the cost of
living, workplace harassment (in drayangs, bars, etc) aggravated by betrayals
and false promises. But I feel we can make a difference in their lives by not
taking advantage of their vulnerabilities. Who knows, a poor family may be
pulled out of destitution by one of these girls.]
